A couple of entries ago, I talked about how Facebook has become so overwhelmed by people sharing other people’s posts, rather than writing their own. Many of the shared content isn’t factual but people share it anyway. The hoax about the Amber alert for the car with Ontario plates has been making its rounds on the Internet before Facebook was even born. There is no newly discovered killer spider. No flight attendant moved a black/Muslim/other minority to first class because the row-sharing passenger objected at having to sit next to such a person. All of these were shared with compassion, trying to rescue a child, warning others of a potentially lethal encounter, sharing a parable about how the objects of bigotry deserve to be treated. They may be wrong but they are kind.

Some content shared would be comical if not so widely believed. Yesterday I read a post about how you are 670 times more likely to be killed by Obamacare than by an assault weapon. Huh? Reading the comments one explanation given was that doctors will be overworked if they treat more patients and will make more mistakes. I guess it’s better for the insured if those without insurance don’t receive medical care. Another post stated that a cold Spring was a blow to those “practicing the global warming religion.” I no more practice a climate change religion than I practice a gravity religion. But I guess the fact that at one time those who dared to believe that the earth revolved around the sun, the Copernicans as I’ll call them, were executed by those who claimed to be Christians, maybe the religious characterization of science isn’t that absurd after all. I try not to respond to these political posts as no good comes of it, no one’s opinion is changed, and flame wars go nowhere. Sometimes, however, I can’t help but respond, for example, to the post I read yesterday how the right to bear arms was a God-given right, not a right established by our early government. I did refrain from purchasing the DVD that allegedly proved the connection.

Lately I have read a lot of mean-spirited and hateful posts towards anyone who disagrees with their point of view. This goes beyond childish name calling. Liberals are now “libtards.” I asked if this was intended to be a combination of liberal and retard and was told that it was. When I found the use of retard offensive I was told that this is a free country and my being offended meant that I was retarded, too. What I guess was intended to be some kind of political joke, stated that if you were pulled over by the police all you had to do was prove you were a member of some minority, or the president, or a member of congress, or, that word again, a retard, and you wouldn’t get a ticket. Responses and likes flowed in quickly. All the other categories were not needed, one person stated, the term retard encompassed them all. One of my high school classmates chimed in with “Obama is retarded.” What is particularly disturbing to me is that some of these posts come from people who describe themselves on their Facebook pages as being Christian and Pro-Life, fervently against abortion due to their deeply held religious belief in the sanctity of life beginning at conception. This is true of the woman who called me retarded and the classmate from my high school. How does this belief in the sanctity of life extend to the sacred lives of those born with Down Syndrome or other developmental delays if they are made the object of ridicule such that comparing someone to them is a great insult.

I won’t correct all the hoaxes I see and I’ll try not to respond to political flotsam, but I will continue to object to the use of the word retard used in such a derogatory way. I will continue to speak for some of the most vulnerable members of society, whether or not they agree with my religion or political platform, indeed if they don’t even understand what the words mean. Not to speak up is to condone the use of the hateful term. To me, this is not a matter of mere semantics, or political correctness, but goes to the core of one’s character. I don’t expect to change anyone but I will still speak.

I have purposely not used the term “the r-word” as that does not make the term any less offensive. I have also purposely not included a photograph lest it become an object of ridicule by those who disagree with me.

Seven years ago my husband Carey and I bought my childhood home. We peeled off all the hideous wallpaper and ugly paint, we painted all the rooms in Disney colors. We had the hardwood floors refinished and carpeted some of the rooms and the halls and stairs. We planted magnolia trees and rose bushes. We completely remodeled the kitchen with gorgeous custom cabinets and a lovely tile floor. We filled our seventeen floor to ceiling bookshelves with books, actually overfilled them. Our mortgage is halfway paid off in spite of the fact that our house is worth over $100,000 less than when we bought it.

And this week I learned that the only way I can keep a job with my company is to move to Indianapolis. And they want me to move in two to three months. If I don’t transfer I lose all the company matches to my 401(k) and my bonus for this year. And have to start the job search once again.

When I was younger, I probably would have given notice to my landlord and moved. I’ve done it many times, from Pennsylvania, to LA, back to Pennsylvania, to Boston, to Austin, and back to New Jersey. From my frequent trips to the company headquarters in Indianapolis I have grown to love Indiana, but do I want to start over again there? I have a husband, a special house, I can’t just move on a whim as I could do in the past.

Decisions aren’t as easy now that I’m older in spite of taking two classes in decision theory in business school. It’s no longer as simple as making a pro and con list and seeing which list is longer. It’s a decision that is tearing at my soul. The only outcome I want is for things to go on as they are and that is not one of the options.